International Mumbai: Late is better than never

Last weekend, the last weekend in June, I visited a friend from Operation Smile. Archna was someone with whom I bonded quite a bit back in Guwahati. She was the program coordinator and was on every mission I was on. She very recently got married and moved to Mumbai. Yes, you are thinking, okay, Mumbai, like maybe she lives 30 minutes away. No, actually, she is an hour and a half away. She lives in a suburb known as Thane, where it is cheaper to live but looks exactly the same and has everything Mumbai has, including the traffic. As a newly married couple, Archna and her husband live in a one bedroom, two bathroom, one kitchen, and one small living room apartment. The entire flat is probably the size of my room at home. The unit is part of a massive apartment complex, which has six buildings, over 3,000 people, and everything you could ever need in the world (so you do not have to leave, and drive, and endure traffic). This arrangement tends to be what everyone is looking for in big Indian cities.

The view outside Archna's apartment (facing away from the massive apartment complex).

Archna and her husband have a maid who comes in the evenings to clean and make their dinner. Archna is from Northern India (Punjab to be exact). For that reason, she must wear bangles that go up to the middle of her arm for 30 days after her wedding. When the bangles come off, they must be removed by her mother-in-law. Archna wears the bangles to sleep, in the shower, everywhere. She has not taken even one of the bangles off yet. She even lugged the bracelets around while coordinating an Operation Smile mission in the Philippines. The bangles are not that heavy, but they do get in the way of things. Her computer is all scratched up, because as she types the bracelets scrape off the paint.

Archna was married over 30 days ago, and while she was in the Philippines her mother-in-law came to visit, but since Archna wasn’t home the bangles still haven't come off. Archna and her husband are a “love marriage” (as opposed to an arranged marriage) and quite modern so I was surprised at how strict everything was with her. Her husband said that the bracelets served the purpose of showing everyone she is married and is taken. I sort of got upset about that and asked him where his bracelets were so that he could be showing everyone that he was married and taken. In fact, he wasn't even wearing a ring. He told me that he thought he did not need something to show people he was married. I told him I thought that as long as she had to do what she was having to do, then he should be held to the same standard. Apparently Archna's mother-in-law is not scheduled to return to Mumbai any time soon, so her husband has called the mother-in-law and asked if it is ok if he and Archna go to a temple and have the bracelets removed by a priest. They don't want to wait any more.

Archna and her husband, Suhesh. Notice the bracelets.

We went to the India version of T.G.I. Friday's to watch the world cup.

Such is the culture of India. The domination of male over female is seen everyday, even when it comes to more western couples like my friends.

On Thursday, I went to the premiere of a movie whose cast includes Arnav’s cousin. The movie is called Lekar Hum Deewani Dil. I secretly hoped and prayed that attending the premier might be my way to meet some big Bollywood honchos and get myself a leading role in a Bollywood flick. Well, that never happened. So many stars and celebrities and important people in the Bollywood industry were there. Every second I turned around and saw another familiar Bollywood actor or actress my jaw dropped. The movie was very cute and fun. And I was in heaven.